all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
Fun Facts about Mean Girls:
- 1. Initially, Lindsay Lohan was cast as Regina, but decided to play the “nice girl” so the public wouldn’t base her real personality on Regina’s.
- 2. Amanda Seyfried was initially supposed to play Cady, Lindsay Lohan’s part.
- 3. Tim Meadows broke his hand before shooting and had to wear a cast, so the explanation that his character Mr. Duvall had carpal tunnel was added.
- 4. In the scene where Cady was asked if her “muffin was buttered”, the line was originally going to be, “Is your cherry popped?” The same goes for the girl who “made out with a hot dog” this was going to be “masturbated with a hot dog”. These were omitted in order for the film to gain a PG 13+ rating instead of a R.
- 5. Ashley Tisdale auditioned for Karen Smith.
- 6. Lindsay Lohan’s character is named “Cady”, which has a common pronunciation (“Katie”) but an uncommon spelling for an American girl’s first name. In keeping with the film’s theme of female empowerment, it is the same spelling of the birth last name of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, an 18th-century pioneer in the American Women’s Rights movement.
- 7. In real life, Rachel McAdams is 8 years older than Lindsay Lohan, who plays her classmate, and only 7 years younger than Amy Poehler, who plays her mother.
- 8. When casting the film, Tina Fey picked Jonathan Bennett (Aaron Samuels) because he looked like Jimmy Fallon.
- 9. Mean Girls is based on the book “Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence” by Rosalind Wiseman, even though it is a non-fiction parental self-help guide with no narrative at all.
- 10. Rachel McAdams’ hair was a wig.
- 11. The skirts for the Christmas talent show were made of plastic; the costume designer says they were made of that fabric to “represent the Plastics”.
- 12. David Reale, a Canadian actor born 1984, was the man who played Glen Coco. Sadly, this crucial role was not credited in the movie.
Neurosurgeons successfully implant 3D printed skull
this looks cooler than regular skulls i wonder how long til someone needs this surgery but opts to leave off the scalp
John F. Kennedy as a teenager.
Does the F in John F. Kennedy stand for Fuckmehard?
"The Rape Poem to End All Rape Poems."
One of the best pieces of group spoken word poetry I’ve ever seen. WATCH IT.